


The Real Me

by FandomsUnite17



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, cat virgil, dark sides animal connections, raccoon remus, snake Janus, spider virgil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27319564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomsUnite17/pseuds/FandomsUnite17
Summary: Each of the dark sides is connected to an animal. They have physical and mental attributes of all types from their animal. Remus is a raccoon. Janus is a python. And Virgil is a tarantula. But when Virgil joined the light sides and Thomas began seeing him in a more positive light, something in him changed. Rather than losing his animal connection, he gained a second.Virgil and Patton had been getting much closer lately, and Virgil was getting more and more worried. He hadn't told any of the light sides what he was. He was sure they'd be terrified of him. But with all this extra time he'd been spending with Patton lately, Patton was sure to find out. And when he did, what would he think? Would he be scared of him? Would Patton be afraid to be near him if he knew he was a tarantula?Was Patton gonna find out, or could Virgil manage to hide his true form forever?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 14
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter One

Patton giggled as he pulled Virgil behind him. "Where should we go?"  
Virgil shushed him loudly. "Just pick somewhere and shut up, they're gonna hear us!"  
They were both silent as they kept running until they finally stopped in an enormous arcade. Virgil froze, staring at the immense interior with wide eyes. Every other inch of the place was glowing, and everything else was dim. Virgil blinked out of his daze. "Where are we?! There's no way I missed a place this huge."  
Patton chuckled. "This is Thomas's dream. And since Thomas just fell asleep we have all night here!"  
"Are you sure no one else'll come here? I mean, if we're here…"  
"Well, the dreams Roman makes, like this one, are only connected to the front of Thomas's mind, where our and Roman and Logan's rooms are. And we don't have to worry about them. Logan's not a big fan of these more fun dreams because he thinks they're unproductive so he won't come anywhere near a big arcade dream! And Roman can't maintain Thomas's creativity strong enough to keep the dream going if he leaves his room, so not only can he not come here, but he can't see what we're doing either."  
"Are you sure he can't see us? If he's the one making the dream why wouldn't he be able to watch it?"  
"He can't actually see a dream while he's making it. He can choose what he wants to happen but he can't see what other people do to affect it. He can only see what he changes."  
"Wait, wait, so if we're effecting the dream does that mean that Thomas is gonna see us here in his dream?"  
"He probably won't remember this dream at all, and if he does he'll remember us as people in real life, like his friends or something. I've explored his dreams a bunch and he always remembers me as someone else."  
"Okay…"  
"No one's gonna see us. So let's go! Come on, what do you wanna do first?!"  
Virgil sighed and looked around until his eyes caught something. Patton said they were safe here, so… Smirking, he stepped over to a large system with two dancing platforms in front of it. "This one."  
Patton gasped. "It's a dance game!"  
Virgil stepped up to it and started a two-player game, absently noticing that it didn't cost anything to play. That was convenient. He smiled and selected a song. Teenagers by My Chemical Romance. This thing had all kinds of music. "You ready?" He waited for Patton to nod before hitting go. He leaped into action on the gamepad, discovering quickly that he was much steadier on his feet than Patton. Patton didn't seem to care in the slightest when the score showed that Virgil beat him by a landslide.  
"My turn to pick!" Patton selected a song and hit go and as soon as the first note played Virgil blinked in surprise.  
"Since when do you like Falloutboy?"  
"Since a few years. Falloutboy is really upbeat! Plus can you go really go wrong with Immortals?"  
"True." Six songs later they stepped off, panting, and sat down at a nearby bench. They sat for a few minutes to catch their breath, then Patton got up and grabbed Virgil's hand in his own, pulling him to his feet. "Come on, what's next?" They wandered around a bit, playing a few rounds of this and a few rounds of that until a few hours later they decided to stop for a snack. They were sitting down at a circular table with pizza.  
"You know, this…" Virgil shrugged in a way that was meant to be indifferent but failed. "This was really fun."  
"Was? It doesn't have to be over yet!"  
Virgil smirked. "Yeah, okay. So what else do you want to do?"  
"Hm… Well, we've played lots of the games… Oh, oh! I bet you this place has a ball pit!"  
"A ball pit? You realize those things are like made for little kids."  
"So what? That doesn't mean we can't play in it too! It's a dream! Anything can happen!"  
Virgil rolled his eyes. "Fine, okay. We'll find the ball pit."  
So they finished eating and went to do just that. They got lost multiple times but eventually, they did find a ball pit. A huge one with all different types of shapes, every foam piece a rainbow ombre. Patton grinned at him wide, and Virgil smirked. He had to admit, this did look pretty cool. Before he could decide if he even wanted to get in or not, Patton grabbed his hand and jumped, pulling him in after him. Virgil screamed as Patton cheered and they both ended up completely submerged. Virgil grabbed blindly, trying desperately to right himself, holding back a chuckle. Okay, fine. This was fun. He didn’t know why being stuck in a pool of rainbow-colored foam shapes was fun, but it was. But at the same time, something was gripping at his core, telling him to get out now, something was going to go wrong, he wouldn’t be able to get back out, he was stuck under these things forever, what if he broke something, would it hurt, what if one of the foam things wasn’t intact and Patton inhaled a piece of foam that was too big and he choked on it, what if something happened, could he do anything, what would happen if he couldn’t save Patton, he knew they couldn’t die but would it hurt Thomas, would Thomas be effected- “Virgil!” He was yanked out of his thoughts as his head shot above the foam shapes, and he found Patton’s face an inch from his. Patton had pulled him upright. He couldn’t help but grin. What was he thinking? Patton stood up, pulling him with, and then hugged him tight and fell straight backwards, laughing madly the whole time. Virgil landed on top of Patton, them both hugging each other, both completely submerged in the pit. He couldn’t see anything, but it didn’t matter. He could hear Patton laughing, could feel Patton’s head tucked against his shoulder, and he couldn’t hold it back — he started laughing too. Hugging Patton even tighter, he rolled them both on their sides so he wasn’t crushing Patton and they both laughed together. Eventually, they let go of each other and stopped laughing and they both sat up, grinning like fools.  
As soon as Virgil saw Patton he seemed to realize how much he’d laughed and he cleared his throat, putting his usual smirk back on. “Alright, I’ll admit, the ball pit wasn’t a half-bad idea.”  
Patton grinned. “You’re never too old for a ball pit! What else do you wanna do?”  
Virgil sighed. “Still going?”  
“Of course! Unless you want to be done?”  
“Well, let’s do one more thing. Then we’ll go. Sound good?”  
“Perfect! Oh, but if this is the last thing we gotta make it the most fun part so we’ll remember it longer!”  
“Well, I don’t really care what we do as long as it’s something we can both do.”  
Patton smiled. “Me too. Hm… What kinda stuff can we both do? Do we wanna play another game?”  
Virgil shrugged. “We could. I’d rather do something more mellow, though. I’m getting tired.”  
“Yeah, me too… Oh! How about we play some claw machines!” He gasped dramatically. “We could get stuffed animals!”  
“Sure. Lead the way.”  
They wandered to one of the entrances and found a huge row of claw machines near it. They picked two of the stuffed animal ones next to each other and both hit go. Twenty minutes later Patton finally got the one he’d had his eyes on. Virgil had gotten the one he was after ten minutes ago and had been playing mindlessly while he waited for Patton, who broke him out of his mindless daze with a triumphant cry. “Yes! I got it!”  
“Yeah? Which one did you get?” Virgil turned to look at him, only to find a stuffed black cat thrust at him.  
“I got it for you!” Virgil stared at it silently, then he slowly took it and burst into laughter. “What? What’s so funny? Do you not like it…?”  
“No, no, it’s not that! I just…” He turned around and grabbed the one he’d gotten. “I got one for you too.”  
He held forwards the stuffed tree frog, and Patton squealed and hugged it to his chest. “It’s so adorable! I love it!”  
Virgil sighed and shook his head. “Yeah, of course, you do.”  
“So… do you wanna play something else?”  
Virgil snorted. “Nice try. I wanna go back, I’m done.”  
“Well, I figured no harm in trying, right?” So they both headed back towards their respective corners of the mindscape, or in simpler terms, their rooms. “Uh, Virgil, wait! Before you go… well, I just wanted to say I had a lot of fun!” He pulled Virgil into a three-second hug and grinned at him.  
“Uh, yeah, I did too.” Virgil gave a two-finger wave and sunk out into his room, which at the moment looked like Thomas’s bedroom, since that’s where Thomas was. Sighing, he let his natural form out. Hiding it was exhausting. Virgil plopped back on the bed, groaning and closing his numerous eyes.  
“Running off with Morality again I see.”  
He shot up in bed and found Janus standing beside the door. “What do you want?”  
“Nothing. Nothing at all.”  
“Right…”  
Janus sighed. “You still haven’t told them?”  
“About what?” Janus raised his eyebrow and gestured to Virgil. “Yeah, okay, fine. No, I haven’t. You happy?”  
“Of course, that is all I wanted. You know, they’re going to find out. If no one else, Morality will, what with all this running off you two have been doing together.”  
“Thanks for the vote of confidence. Now, are you done? Can you go?”  
“So quick to get rid of me. Rude.”  
“Well so sorry I’m not in the mood to be criticized. Now go away.”  
“Fine. I won’t tell you what your new attributes mean.”  
Virgil froze. No one should have known about that. He had been so careful to keep it hidden. “H-How did you…?”  
“I didn’t. Until now. So what is it? What kind of ridiculous animal have you gotten as a secondary?”  
“Secondary?”  
“Well, yes, a secondary. Don’t tell me you weren’t expecting some change. You know our natural animals are based on how Thomas views us. So when Thomas for some reason decided to view you in a positive way, you think he would still associate you with something so negative and… fear-provoking?”  
Oh. He hadn’t thought about that at all. “Well that makes sense, obviously, but then wouldn’t I just not have an animal form? Like the others? Why did I get a second one? And why is my first form still here?”  
Janus sighed. “You really aren’t that bright, are you? First of all, your first form is still there because Thomas does still view you as anxiety, stress, fear, that connection is still there. And who says the others don’t have natural animals?”  
“The others have animals?!”  
Janus shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. I’m just saying it’s possible. I never claimed to know everything.”  
Virgil groaned. “Just get out!” Janus shrugged again and sunk out, waving as he went. Virgil moaned and fell back on his bed again. He would know if the others had natural animal forms. He would know about something like that. That wasn’t possible. But something Janus had said had stuck with him. They were going to find out eventually. He couldn’t hide his natural form forever. And there was the problem of his secondary form as well. He groaned. He couldn’t show them his first form because they’d be terrified of him, and he couldn’t show them his secondary because they’d think he was cute. He’d just have to keep hiding them both. But what would happen when he inevitably failed? What would happen when they found out?

It was two weeks later when that question became serious. Him and Patton had been running off to spend time together almost every night, but this night was different. They had been hanging out in one of Thomas’s dreams again and were sitting down together on a park bench, looking up at the night sky. Everything was going perfectly. They had just been wandering, chatting some, playing games… They had successfully tired themselves out but weren’t quite ready to go back yet, so they had decided to sit down and chat until they wanted to leave. They had subconsciously been leaning against each other and at some point Patton had started running his fingers through Virgil’s hair — twisting bits of it around his finger, flicking Virgil’s bangs back occasionally, massaging his scalp. Virgil had noticed this, of course, but he hadn’t said anything about it at all, let alone telling him to stop. He’d never had anyone play with his hair, and as much as he hated to admit it, it felt awesome. Too awesome. His eyes had started closing and he had begun leaning into the touch noticeably, but that wasn’t even the worst part. Between Virgil’s “Mhm”s as he listened to Patton ramble, he let out a low rumbling purr and rubbed the side of his face against Patton’s raised arm. He immediately shot to his feet, eyes stinging. A paralyzing fear gripped him and he didn’t know what to do. His brain was frozen. He was trembling head-to-toe. It felt like the entire mindscape was collapsing in on him. Before Patton could squeal or scream or do anything but stare blankly, he breathed, “I needa go,” and sank out. How could he have been so stupid?! He fell back onto his bed, tears unwillingly forcing themselves onto his cheeks.


	2. Chapter Two

It had been a week since then, and while Patton hadn’t invited him to hang out together, he also hadn’t mentioned the incident. Virgil wondered if he thought he’d been angry at him when he left that night. But that was the least of his worries because the morning after that incident he started to understand why he’d gotten vulnerable. He was beginning premolt, a terrible process he’d been cursed with because of his tarantula connection. And now he was fully into it. He’d been in his room for a few days without leaving now, and he was weak. The loss of appetite had kicked in, too — he hadn’t eaten anything in the past two days. He could feel his skin pulling tight and starting to dry out. “This damn molt needs to get here and get itself over with.”  
“What, before those goodie-two-shoes realize you’ve been gone all this time?”  
Virgil flinched and glared. “Deceit.”  
Deceit grinned. “I wondered if it was this time of year again.”  
“What do you want from me?”  
Deceit clicked his tongue. “Always with the same question.”  
“Deceit, you know I have to be alone until this is over. So tell me what you want and get out.”  
“Oh, I was just bored.” Virgil raised an eyebrow, completely unconvinced. “Anyway, as I was saying, what makes you think they’re not already suspicious? I know your premolt brings out your connection aspects. Hence, you being stuck in your primary animal form.”  
“Do you enjoy ruining my life?”  
“Of course I do.”  
Virgil sighed, exhausted. “Mission success, then. Now get out.”  
“Fine, fine.” Shaking his head, Janus sunk out.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He had managed to stay in his room for over a month now with little interruptions, all of which he was able to resolve through the closed door. Until today. He had made his nest out of numerous blankets and buried himself underneath them in his small closet, where he was laying now, groaning faintly as he began to rub his back against the floor of his nest. He did this for nearly twenty minutes before he finally felt his hardened skin crack down his back and he was able to start shifting it loose. Five minutes later it was finally starting to move when he felt someone sink into his room. What?! Who was in here? And why now?! He heard a voice calling for him but he tried to ignore it — maybe if he didn’t answer they would leave. Besides, he had to finish this molt. So he continued to ignore them and kept rubbing his back. After a few minutes of silence he assumed whoever was looking for him had left. He was wrong.  
He had just gotten the edge past his shoulders, and beginning to peel off his chin, when he heard the closet door slide open and a piercing scream echoed around him. He couldn’t see yet, so he couldn’t tell who it was. Any of them might scream if they saw him halfway through a molt. He couldn’t stop now. As much as it terrified him to think of who was watching him right now, and as much as every instinct in him right now was screaming at him to be alone until this was over, nothing was going to get solved if he stopped. So he kept going. He could hear the voice whimper occasionally, but even after he got it off his head he kept his eyes shut firmly. It was another five minutes until he finally forced it off the ends of all eight limbs and immediately collapsed, exhausted, leaving the empty shell to sit halfway on top of him. He didn’t have the energy to move it. He barely had the energy to stay awake. His eyes refused to open, so he stopped trying. Whoever had seen that had already seen it. For once he was too exhausted to be anxious about what the others thought of him. Whoever was here had seen that, and now they were about to see him sleep unless they decided to leave and mind their own business.  
When he next opened his eyes, he immediately noticed that he was not on the closet floor — he was laying on something soft. Moaning, he sat up and looked around. He was still in his room, just in the bedroom now, on the bed. He could hear manic pacing, almost stomping, right outside the door. Who-? Why was he-? He shook his head and got up off the bed, walking to the door, but he stopped with his hand on the handle. Whoever was out there was talking rapidly. “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t done that, if I’d just kept to myself that night, this wouldn’t be happening! What if he never wakes up?! This is all my fault, what if he never wakes up and it’s all my fault?! Oh my gosh, it’s the stress! He thinks I hate him now, that has to be it! I thought he needed space. I thought he wanted me to back off, but what if I had just come to check on him sooner?! Is that it?! It was the stress! He thinks everyone hates him now, of course, none of us came to check on him! What is wrong with us?! Oh my gosh, what if I’m too late?! What if he never wakes up?! No, no, I’ve killed him! It’s all my fault! Why couldn’t I have just left his hair alone?!” Virgil realized in an instant what was going on. That was Patton. He was talking about the last night they had hung out together, before his pre-molt even started. When his feline connection showed. And then, it must have been Patton that had seen him molting earlier. And he had been here waiting for him to wake up since. How long had he been asleep? How long has Patton been in here?! He swung the door open and Patton froze, fingernails dug into his scalp, blood spotting the tips.  
“You gotta get outta here!”  
“Oh my god, Virgil! You’re okay! You’re alive!” Sobbing, Patton clung to Virgil in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! It’s all my fault!”  
Virgil pushed him away and flinched. He had pitch-black eyeshadow way too low under his eyes and black streaks trailed from it, spiking out in every direction. “Okay, okay, this is bad. This is really bad. Patton, you gotta listen to me.”  
“I know, I’m so sorry! I don’t hate you, please! I’ve never hated you! I’m so sorry!”  
“No, Patton, I know that. But you gotta calm down so I can get you outta here. I can probably sink you outta here, but you gotta break this.”  
“You know? You don’t think I hate you?”  
“No, I don’t!”  
“You’re lying. You’re just trying to make me feel better…”  
“Oh, come on! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Patton who cares?! Who cares if I did hate you, you need to get a hold of yourself!”  
“But-”  
“I don’t know how long you’ve been in here already, but if you’re in here any longer, there’s not gonna be any going back, and Thomas needs you.”  
“Thomas doesn’t need me. None of you do. I can’t help Thomas. I don't even know if anything I believe is right…”  
“Okay, Patton, it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter if it’s technically right, the point is just for Thomas to do the best he knows how, right?”  
“I guess… but if it’s not actually what’s right… in the long run, who does it help?”  
Virgil groaned. “I gotta get you outta here… Okay, Patton, let’s say that’s true. Let’s say Thomas doesn’t need you. But… I need you.”  
Patton looked at him, blinking. “No you don’t.”  
“Yeah, I do. Listen, I know you’re confused, and probably freaked out about me right now, I mean given my tarantula form… But I’m still… I mean, I’m the same person. The same person you hung out with in Thomas’s dreams, like, every night. You remember that one with the huge arcade? You… I smiled. Like a genuine, not forced, smile. And I laughed. Patton, that’s a huge deal to me.”  
“I… I did?”  
“Yeah, you don’t remember?” He shook his head. Virgil thought for a moment, then went back into his bedroom and returned a moment later with a stuffed black cat, which he held out for Patton to take. He did, grabbing the stuffed toy gingerly. “You remember that? You got that for me. And I got you-”  
“A frog.”  
“Yeah. You remember?”  
Patton nodded. “Yeah. I remember. You really had fun?”  
“Yeah. I did. You think you’re calm enough to get outta here?” Patton nodded silently. “Okay. I’m gonna sink out, then summon you there. And then I guess I owe you an explanation…” Patton nodded, and so he sunk out to the forefront, a small area of Thomas’s mind that mimicked his apartment where they could more heavily affect Thomas if they so chose. Virgil took a deep breath and shot a hand up, and Patton shot up following it, stumbling. “You good?”  
Patton stared for a moment, blinking, the last of the darkness under his eyes fading. Then he fell to his knees and let out a sob, pressing a hand to his face. “I can’t- I’m so sorry, Virgil. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you.”  
“Hey, that’s just… what my room does. Wasn’t your fault.”  
Patton nodded. “Okay. Thanks for saving me.”  
“Uh, well, I-I didn’t really…” He cleared his throat nervously. “Sure…”


	3. Chapter Three

Finally Patton sniffled and got up, moving to the couch. Virgil moved over and sat next to him, and Patton spoke up awkwardly. “So… what happened to you? And why are you a…?”  
“A spider. Yeah… Actually, I assumed you’d be more afraid of me.”  
“No! I could never be afraid of you!”  
“Even when I’m half tarantula?”  
“Even then. You’re still Virgil!”  
He made a subtle sound and looked down. He wasn’t expecting that. “Well… This… form is… Okay, so, the dark sides, they all have a connection to a certain type of animal. And our natural forms display attributes from that animal, and we get some of the traits and stuff… Uh, Deceit is obviously a python, The Duke is a raccoon, and I’m… a tarantula.”  
“But you’re not a dark side!”  
“Not anymore I guess. But I was. We got these animal connections because of how Thomas saw us. The Duke is a raccoon because he stinks, he’s always got his nose in something he shouldn’t be in… Deceit’s a snake because, well, garden of eden and all that. And I’m a tarantula because… Thomas is terrified of tarantulas, and… he’s always been terrified of me.”  
“But he’s not scared of you anymore!”  
“Well, he’s not terrified of me anymore, but he’s still a little scared of me, or I wouldn’t still have an animal connection. But that’s okay, I mean… I’m still Anxiety. He has a right to still be a little unsettled… But this is how I actually look. I… shape shift to look like you guys… I mean, normal, you know what I mean.”  
“So this is the real you? Why have you kept it hidden?”  
“Why? I thought you’d all be terrified of me! And if you guys got scared of me, then Thomas would get really scared of me again…”  
“Well, we’d never be scared of you!”  
“Really…”  
“Not anymore!”  
Virgil sighed. “I guess…”  
“Uh, anyway, what was that earlier? What were you doing? And if you weren’t upset with me, then how come you were gone for so long?”  
Virgil groaned. “Okay… Um, once a year adult tarantulas… molt.”  
“Molt?”  
“Yeah, like how lizards shed their skin? And-” He half-groaned-half-sighed.  
“Aren’t you supposed to shed your outer layer when you go inside?” Virgil glared silently, and Patton hung his head. “Yeah, okay, continue.”  
He sighed in exasperation. “Fine. When some creatures… shed their skin, it’s called molting. Molting tends to have a lot more intense pre-molt.” Patton opened his mouth to ask, but Virgil answered him before he could. “Pre-molt is the time before a creature sheds when their body is… preparing for it. And for some creatures it can be… a lot longer and more… intense than for others.”  
“Like…?”  
“Yeah. Like tarantulas. That’s why I was gone so long. Tarantulas don’t like to be seen during pre-molt. And like I said earlier, we get more from our animal connections than just appearance stuff.”  
“So you’re saying you shed?!”  
Virgil blushed. “Y-Yeah? What did you think was happening?!”  
“Well, gosh! I didn’t know what I was seeing. I’m sorry I came in and interrupted you. I was just so scared that something was wrong!”  
“Well… you didn’t need to be. I was fine.”  
“Sorry I ruined it…”  
“You didn’t ruin it, it’s just… I wasn’t ready for any of you guys to know. Granted, I might never have been ready…”  
“Still, I’m sorry I barged in. I shouldn’t have gone to see you without your permission and I shouldn’t have found out if you didn’t want me to.”  
He sighed. “It’s fine… You guys were gonna figure out eventually. I mean, there’s only so long you can successfully suppress a whole half of yourself.”  
“Awwwooh! Don’t talk like that! You don’t have to do that!”  
“I kinda do, yeah, if I don’t want you guys to be scared of me. I mean, I know you said you’re not scared, but of all people, Patton, really? You’re not unsettled? At all? You, who freaked out at Thomas’s spiderman suit? And my cartoony curtains? Yeah, sure you’re not bothered by this... And I know Roman’s gonna hate it. Logan... I mean, he really doesn’t react to this kinda stuff, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was mad.”  
“Oh, b-but- but they wouldn’t do that!”  
“No? Princey would. I know I’m still not his favorite.”  
“He likes you! He just has a hard time showing it!”  
“Yeah. A really hard time.”  
“You two just tend to… work against each other a lot.”  
“What’s new?”  
They were both quiet for a long time before Patton spoke up again. “So when you left so quick that day… was it something I did wrong?”  
“No, it was… it wasn’t your fault. It was mine…”  
“I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong.”  
“You don’t get it. It wasn’t anything I did, it was what I didn’t do.”  
Patton blinked at him, perplexed. “Okay?”  
Virgil took a deep breath. “When I’m getting close to going into premolt my animal connection… my instincts get stronger. So it’s a lot harder to hide them then. That’s why I left like that. My… animal instincts were showing through.”  
“Oh? I don’t even remember that. When did that happen?”  
“You didn’t know? I mean, wasn’t it obvious?”  
“No… All I can remember is right before you left you were acting adorably cuddly. Which I guess is kinda weird for you…”  
“Yeah, that’s what I was talking about.”  
“Oh? But… those things aren’t cuddly.”  
“Not most of them, no… It wasn’t my spider instincts that were showing right then…”  
He looked away nervously as Patton raised one eyebrow, confused. “What? But you said…” He gasped. “No way! Are you two different animals?!”  
He flinched. “Maybe? I don’t really know… It didn’t start until I started hanging out with you guys…”  
“What didn’t?”  
“The other traits, the habits, physical attributes… New stuff I’ve never had before…”  
“Do you know what animal it is?!” He had both hands clasped under his chin and he was shifting excitedly where he sat.  
“Uh… y-yeah… I do…”  
Patton dropped his hands. “So?”  
“Uh… Okay, do you promise you won’t freak out?”  
He nodded violently. “Yeah, of course!”  
“Okay…” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting his secondary form show. This one was more subtle than his primary natural form. The only thing it added was dark brown feline ears replacing his own on top of his head and an even darker brown tail. He sat still with his eyes closed, waiting for a shriek or a squeal or for Patton to start playing with his cat ears or something humiliating like that, but nothing happened. Slowly, he opened his eyes and found Patton sitting beside him stared wide-eyed, both hands covering his mouth. He was clearly grinning like a fool, but he wasn’t making a sound. Wait, he wasn’t making a sound? He wasn’t screaming and freaking out and trying to hug him? He was just… sitting there. Just looking at him...   
Then, very slowly, he reached forwards one hand and whispered, as if he was afraid he would squeal with excitement if he tried to talk any louder. “Can I touch them? Just for a second?”  
Virgil looked away and glared hard. “Fine. One second.” Patton reached up and ran his fingers along both sides of the furry ear, from the base to the tip. Virgil started leaning into the touch but immediately pulled away. “Listen, if you were gonna tell the others, I mean, assuming you wanted to, but anyway, can we… keep this secondary thing to ourselves?”  
Patton nodded, grinning. “Sure thing. If that’s all you think you’re ready for, then it’s our secret.”  
“Thanks.”  
Suddenly Patton gasped, making Virgil flinch back. “Oh, sorry. I just realized that you meant when you got all cuddly that night that that was from this! Oh my gosh that’s so cu-” Virgil’s glare cut him off. “Sorry. So… you’re good now? You’re okay?”  
“What? Oh, oh, yeah. Little tired still, kinda sore, but yeah. The hard part’s over. Wow. It’s weird talking to one of you three about this…”  
“The others know?”  
“Yeah. I mean, I know about theirs. That’s not really a secret thing with them, so…”  
“Well how come they didn’t tell us?”  
“I think it’s less that they’re keeping it a secret and more they assumed it was obvious and just didn't mention it directly, so the topic just never came up. I’m the only one who... actually hid it...”  
“Now you won’t have to.”  
He nodded. “So you’re gonna tell them?”  
“Oh. Well, if you don’t want me to…”  
“No, no, it’s okay, I just want to know when they do know.”  
“Actually, I was hoping you’d come with me… to tell them.”  
Virgil hesitated. “I don’t know…”  
“I just thought they might appreciate it if you were there. Plus, I don’t know if they’ll believe me.”  
“If they won’t believe you unless I come, then fine.”  
“They might not believe me.”  
“Do you want me to come or not?!”  
“Yes!”  
“Then drop it.”  
“Alright, alright. So now that you’re okay, do you wanna go hang out?”  
“You want to hang out? After all that?”  
“Yeah, of course I do!”  
Virgil shook his head. “Alright. Where do you wanna go?”  
“Hmm… Oh, how about we stay right here?”  
“Here? What are we gonna do here in the forefront?”  
“Movie night?”  
Virgil made a face. “Maybe we could play a game or something?”  
“Sure! What should we play?”  
“Don’t care.”  
“Hmm… Minecraft?”  
Virgil shrugged, disguising his animal connections. “Sure. You got any good worlds?”  
Patton gasped. “There’s this one where Roman helped me make this huge sanctuary and I’ve got a whole bunch of every animal in minecraft!”  
“Alright, so we’re playing one of mine.”  
An hour later Virgil was chasing down Patton’s player with a sword. “One more cat and I swear I’m kicking you off the server!” Patton was laughing beside him as his character ran, spawn egg in hand, leaving a trail of ocelots in his wake. Click. Patton went silent and slowly looked over. Virgil had turned off his tablet altogether and was staring at the floor looking both angry and embarrassed. “I fucking meant it.”  
Patton suddenly looked horrified with himself. “Oh, gosh, I didn’t think… I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even thinking that…”  
“I’m just… not that ready, okay? Sorry.”  
“No, no, it was my fault for not thinking about how you might feel! I’m so sorry I wasn’t considering your feelings. I just…”  
“You think I’m adorable.”  
“Well, I…”  
“Yeah. That’s what I thought.”  
“Well, what’s wrong with being adorable?”  
“It’s degrading, okay?! I’m supposed to be Anxiety! Anxiety isn’t cute! I’m supposed to be intimidating, and scary, and…” He sighed, burying his face in his hands.   
“Hey… You don’t have to be if you don’t like it.”  
“Yeah, I kinda do. That’s why I exist. I’m what makes Thomas scared. I have to be able to scare him.”  
“Yeah, I guess you do… But you don’t always have to be scary, right? When Thomas needs to be scared, then you can be scary, but do you have to be scary other times? When Thomas doesn’t have to be scared?”  
“Well… I mean, technically no, but…”  
“But what?”  
Virgil shrugged. “What if I… stop, and then… I don’t know how to scare him again?”  
“Well, then I can help you! Oh, or Logan! Logan would know how!”  
Virgil nodded slowly. “Yeah… I guess so…”  
There was a long, quiet moment. “So… About telling them…”  
“What?”  
“Should we tell them both at once, or…?”  
Virgil sighed. “At once, yeah. At least then I only have to see their reactions one time.”  
Patton nodded. “So… when do you wanna tell them?”  
“I don’t, honestly…”  
“Well you don’t have to-”  
“They deserve to know. Plus anything you know, they’ll figure out. Or, at least Logan will. So, no, I don’t want to tell them. But I’d rather tell them than they figure out on their own…”  
“If you’re sure… So, should we wait and tell them tomorrow, or…?”  
“I want to, but… if I don’t do this soon, it’s gonna drive me crazy just knowing I’m gonna have to, so…”  
“You wanna just get it over with?”  
Virgil nodded. “Yeah. Basically…”  
“Okay. We could tell them now?”  
Virgil nodded. “Okay, just please get this started so it can end, the suspense is making me nauseous.”  
Patton nodded and summoned both Roman and Logan, who appeared in the commons before them. Roman looked around. “Uh… hi? Did you guys need something?”  
Virgil looked away pointedly, so Patton spoke up. “Uh, yeah, we had something to tell you. You two. Both of you.” He glanced over at Virgil, who shook his head and spun his hand urgently.  
Logan looked between them. “Is this something important?”  
“Uh, yeah, pretty important… You see, the uh… the darksides, they each have kinda an… animal that’s sorta assigned to them. And they’re partway that animal, and they have different animals though. Like, um, Deceit’s a snake, that one’s obvious. And The Duke is a raccoon…”  
Roman and Logan nodded, and Roman shrugged. “Okay, I had a hunch, but why the nervousness? Did they do something to you?!”  
“No! No! I’m fine, but um… you see, Virgil, he… he used to be kind of a darkside, so… he got an… animal assigned to him too.”  
“Oh? I’ve never seen any… fur or scales or anything funky…”  
“Well, that’s because he… actually, before I say this, try to remember that he only did this to try and protect us, but… he’s kept all of that hidden.”  
“Hidden?” Roman raised an eyebrow. “What could he possibly keep hidden that would be a danger to any of us?!”  
“Well, it’s not really dangerous, it’s just… scary…”  
“Scary? Psh! Are you kidding? I’m not afraid of anything!”  
Logan straightened his glasses. “I have evidence that proves otherwise, but continue Patton.”  
“Uh… how do I say this…? He’s a… well, he’s… Okay, just don’t freak out, okay? But um, he’s kind of a…”  
Virgil groaned and turned to them, letting his natural form show. “I’m a tarantula, okay?!”


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super short chapter but I felt bad leaving y'all to wait so long so here's a little bit more I have done.

Roman immediately shrieked and stumbled back, shaky hands grasping the hilt of his sword for a moment before finding their place grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.   
Virgil’s gaze followed Roman’s hands to his sword, and Virgil’s heart skipped a beat. Sword. Sharp. Danger. His animal instincts kicked in, and he let out an angry spitting hiss and made a bolt for it.  
Patton went up a few steps and froze, holding a hand up to tell the other two at the bottom of the stairs to stop. Virgil was standing at the top, gripping the last poles of the railing tight. He was crouched slightly, with the top two spider legs on his back sticking straight up in a V. His cat ears and tail were there on top of his spider form and his cat ears were flattened straight back, tail sticking up angrily behind him. His lips were pulled back, showing pointed teeth with large canines as he spat and hissed. Patton held both hands up in a sign of surrender and whispered gently to him. “Virgil… no one’s going to hurt you…” Virgil just spat back and hissed louder, flexing his raised spider legs threateningly. His gaze was unfaltering. Wait, gaze? Patton followed it and saw what he was looking at, and suddenly it all made sense. He whispered back to Roman. “Ro, it’s your sword. Can you give it to me? In the… thing?”  
“The sheath, yes.” He handed the sheathed sword up to Patton. “Just be careful with it.”  
Patton nodded and took it, very slowly stepping back up to where he was. Virgil tensed even more, seemingly ready to spring at any moment. Patton watched him cautiously as Patton crouched down on the step, very slowly moving up one step with the sword in hand. He moved up a few more steps and flinched, shaking head-to-toe as Virgil lunged forwards with two spider legs. He didn’t stop. He closed his eyes and moved up one more stair. Virgil spat out a furious sound and he flinched again, staying still for a moment more.   
Finally, he opened his eyes and lifted the sword, setting it down on the top stair. Virgil was terrified by the thing. He cried out and lunged for Patton just as Patton started to stand.  
Patton’s foot missed the step behind him entirely as he pulled away. Roman jumped to his feet and raced up the steps. Thump! “Patton! Are you okay?!” Patton nodded and Roman brought him back downstairs before setting him back down. “Are you sure? He... he didn’t hurt you, did he?”  
“Of course not!” Patton shook his head fervently and looked back up at Virgil.  
Roman followed his gaze to see Logan standing on the stairs slightly above the middle, watching, seemingly waiting for something.  
Virgil slowly crouched down and picked up the sword, legs and tail still raised mostly and ears still flat. He stared at it, very slowly relaxing. Virgil eased the sheath off, tossing it behind him. He was left holding the sword, unsheathed, pupils shrinking in fear as he stared.  
After a long minute, he set it on the floor between his feet and slid it down the hall behind him roughly, waiting until he heard it hit the other wall. Finally, he started to relax completely, slowly, cautiously, letting his tail drop and his legs lower and eventually relaxing his ears.  
Logan stepped up a few more steps. “Virgil?” Virgil’s shoulders dropped in reply as he stared blankly ahead of him. “Virgil, can you hear me?” Virgil stared for a moment more before stepping down to meet Logan and falling forwards onto him, wrapping his arms and spider legs around him.  
Roman lunged forwards to help, but Patton grabbed his arm, making him stop and watch.  
Logan didn’t even flinch when Virgil collapsed onto him, but he merely hugged him back. They stayed that way for nearly three minutes, silent, unmoving, neither reacting, until Virgil spoke up in a quiet tone, not quite a whisper. “I’m sorry. That I hid this. And… it’s okay that you’re scared, Roman.” He pulled away from Logan. “And you too, Logan, I get it if you’re scared of me too.”  
“I am not. I’m not scared of anything.”  
Virgil shook his head, chuckling. “Of course not. And… Patton?”  
“Hm?”  
“I know you told me you’re not, but… I know you’ve gotta be scared too. And that’s… okay. I was expecting that. This. I was expecting this kind of reaction, especially from you Roman. And I still lost it…”  
Logan turned and went back down the stairs, Virgil following him. “Lost.. what? Did I miss something?”  
Everyone burst into laughter and Patton explained it. “He means he let his emotions get the better of him.”  
He nodded and pulled out a piece of paper to write on. Virgil nervously stepped off the stairs, and Patton and Roman both flinched away from him. He froze. Patton realized what he’d done. “I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t mean to react like that! I’m sorry, Virgil, I swear! I’m sorry.”  
“It’s… it’s fine. Really. Just… I-I’m sorry, I can’t.” Patton tried to respond to him, but he didn’t hear it. He was already rising in his own room, away from the common area, away from them. Away from exactly what he knew would happen. But worse than the fact that he’d snapped, worse than the fact that he’d scared them, just like he knew he would… he’d shown both animals. Both. Why?! Why couldn’t he control it?! Why was this so hard?! Standing in the middle of his living room, he screamed. He screamed, tears running down his face, and threw a hand at the couch. Scraaaat! He didn’t hear it. He swung again, then turned and swung blindly again. He kept screaming, not realizing how the sound had changed to a guttural, growling hiss.


	5. Chapter Five

Roman glanced at the door nervously. “Are you guys sure I shouldn’t get my sword back? Just in case I need to scare him back or something…?”  
Logan opened his mouth to respond, but Patton spoke first. “Yes! We’re not going to threaten him! It’s going to be fine. Right, Logan?”  
Logan stepped forwards and grabbed the handle. “There is no reason to be this concerned. If he is still uneasy, then we will be cautious and slow, but if he does not show any signs of distress then it is best to continue on acting as we most often do. Patton, since he apparently told you first, I would suggest you go in first and we will be behind you.”  
Patton nodded nervously. “Yeah…” Logan opened the door and he slowly stepped inside, looking around. “Virgil?” No answer. He glanced back and Logan and Roman stepped in behind him. They stepped in slowly, growing more and more concerned by the second. Every inch of the room was damaged in some way. The walls and furniture were covered in claw marks and there were things shattered and smashed on the floor.   
Virgil wasn’t on the first floor. By the time they got upstairs and to the bedroom door, they were all on edge, for more reasons than one. Silently, Logan glanced at the others before opening the door. As soon as he’d stepped inside he spotted movement. Virgil was in his natural form, half tarantula. He’d jumped onto the floor, presumably from the bed, and was curled over, spider legs sticking up. Hrrsssss… Logan’s eyes widened at the loud sound and his hands shot up. “Cover your face! Don’t come in!”  
Patton and Roman shot their hands up and stopped, but they were already inside, almost beside Logan. Logan backed up and they backed up with him, closing the door as soon as they were out. Roman gestured wildly. “What was that?! What just happened?!”  
“Don’t touch anything. And keep your hands away from your face at all costs.”  
Patton looked between them nervously. “Why? What happened?” He looked down at the backs of his hands, examining them closely. “What were we blocking?”  
“Keep it away from your face! You do not want to breathe it in if any of them are loose. There are microscopic splinter-like things in your hands called urticating hairs, if I’m not mistaken. They are microscopic barbed hairs that can be found on some creatures, namely on tarantula’s abdomens. When threatened, tarantulas are able to shoot these urticating hairs at their attackers, causing rashing, skin irritation, itchiness, inflammation, and if the eyes were unguarded can also cause loss of sight.”  
Roman remained silent, staring at the backs of his hands, but Patton glanced back at the door sadly. “Why would he think we were… attacking him?”  
“I doubt he did. For whatever reason, he is clearly very distressed, based on the state of the first floor. I don’t claim to know the reason for his distress, but his attacking us was most likely because he was afraid, not because he genuinely thought he was being attacked himself. We need to get these removed. I advise we go to the forefront.” He sunk out, and Patton and Roman glanced at each other and sunk out after him.  
They both rose in the forefront to see Logan sticking a large piece of duct tape to the back of his hand. Roman raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”  
Logan tore the duct tape off with a wince, then started to stick another piece onto the other hand. “Healing ourselves will push the urticating hairs out, but we still need to remove them so they don’t re-embed themselves. Duct tape is the quickest and most efficient way to the best of Thomas’s knowledge.”  
Rip! He handed the roll of duct tape over to Roman and left to wash his hands off. Roman held a hand up for a moment, then glanced at Patton and pulled off a large piece of the tape.  
A few minutes later they had all healed and removed the hairs with tape and washed their hands thoroughly and they were sitting on the couch. Patton was fiddling nervously with his fingers. “I think I need to go back and check on him.”  
“I doubt that would be the best idea at the moment. He needs to calm down before anyone attempts to approach him again. Otherwise, it will only result in the exact same situation we just were in.”  
“So he needs time…”  
After a silent moment, Roman spoke up. “So what was it that… freaked him out like that? To do all of that to his room… and then attack us?!"  
“What do you mean?” Patton couldn’t believe Roman would ask that seriously. Wasn’t it obvious?! “That… what he showed us, that’s not just something that’s easier for him to shift into, that’s… that’s his normal self. That’s how he normally looks. Whenever he’s around us, he shifted to look like… well, like us. More… our normal. That’s how he’s supposed to look.” Patton knew he’d said that already, but he felt like he couldn’t quite get that point across enough. “He’s always supposed to look like that, and he was so scared… so scared of… of upsetting us, and upsetting Thomas, that… he hid himself, hid who he is, every time he showed himself… He didn’t tell me about it himself… I found out on accident… He wasn’t ready to tell any of us, and then I convinced him to tell you two, and… and he wasn’t ready yet. He was terrified to tell us, any of us, and then… I know you didn’t mean to go for your sword like that, Roman… I know it was just instinct, the sword, the screaming… but when he was already so scared of what we’d think, and how we’d react… well, you both saw… and then he was a little bit calmed down and he tried to come back down, and…” Patton gasped in a breath and tears poured down his face silently. “I flinched! Away from… from him! I didn’t mean to, I-!” He choked on a sob.  
Roman immediately slid over and pulled him into a hug. “Hey, hey… I did too… It wasn’t just you. Plus, he can’t be too mad for all that long. It’s not our fault spiders like that are freaky…”  
“No, but…” He sniffled, sobbed. “But it’s our fault we let ourselves react to it! He was so brave showing us! And I couldn’t even stop myself from… literally flinching away from him! Like… like he was some kinda monster!”  
“Hey, no…” Roman hugged him tighter and shushed him gently. “He’ll come around, okay? He’ll understand… He just… needs time to calm down…”


	6. Chapter Six

Virgil sighed into the pillows. What happened? It had been over an hour since it had happened and he still couldn’t shake it. Whatever it was… He’d barely been sound of mind enough to remember much now, but he remembered doing something… something he’d never done before, something purely instinct. He’d remembered sensing some new presence and then moving a lot, very fast. And then screaming. Shouting. The door closing. After that? He thought he remembered being uncomfortable for a while like he could… feel someone watching him. Or talking about maybe. Or maybe just talking really nearby. He’d never done something so… on autopilot before. Even now that he’d had an hour to reflect on it, he couldn’t even begin to tell you what it was that he’d done. He just remembered feeling desperate. Desperate and terrified.  
Had he done something wrong? He tried, again and again, to remember who had been there, but he couldn’t remember enough to identify anyone. Had there just been one person there? Two? Three? Four? He couldn’t remember even that.  
Worst of all, he couldn’t remember if the screaming had been pained or not. He might have hurt someone. Really bad. And he didn’t know. He couldn’t remember…   
Virgil slowly rolled over and sat up. Someone was here. He had to go see why… He got up off the bed and went to the door. His heart was racing. Just open the door… Why was this so hard?! He reached forwards. Grabbed the handle. Froze. He can’t do this. Why? Open the door. Just open the door. It’s not that hard. He took a deep breath, held it. Clenched his teeth together. Closed his eyes.  
You can do it. You can do it.  
Virgil turned the handle and kicked the door as hard as he could, heart racing wildly.  
His heart rate slowed to normal almost immediately. The hallway was empty. Okay… This was fine. He nodded slowly and disguised his animal attributes before heading downstairs.  
He froze halfway down, staring at his living room. So someone really was in here.  
His gaze shot to the kitchen at the sound and his secondary form showed itself, despite his efforts to keep it hidden; his cat ears perked straight up and the end of his tail flicked in alarm. He leaned his weight, ready to bolt back up the stairs at any second.  
He heard movement again, then a footstep. And another, and another. Someone came into view and it took Virgil a moment to realize he’d dropped to hands and knees, hiding behind the railing. The person looked up at him and he flinched. Run. Run. Run.  
Virgil stayed still, leaning again, on the verge of bolting. The person very slowly crouched down, hands raised in surrender. That look didn’t fit them at all. Wait, why? Who was it? He blinked at the man.   
It was Logan, who was slowly lowering his hands. “Hello.” Virgil flinched. It was just a voice. He was okay. “I’d like you to come down the rest if you’re able.”  
Virgil sat still for a moment, considering. Then he eased himself down one step and watched Logan carefully for any kind of reaction. Nothing. Nothing at all. Not positive, not negative. Okay. This was okay. He eased down another two steps. Watched. Five steps to go until he reached the corner step at the bottom. He eased down one more step, heart starting to race again. Why? “You’re doing good.”  
His head shot up at the voice. Just Logan. Logan’s not scared of him. Logan’s not going to think he’s insignificant or any less capable because of his cat attributes. He took a deep breath to slow his heart and slipped down the last four steps slowly, one after the other, staring at the bottom edge of the railing. Virgil sat down on the larger, corner step near the bottom nervously, tail flicking anxiously. He was okay. He was okay.  
He flinched and found his lips pulling back in a snarl as his gaze followed the sudden movement. “I’m not going to hurt you.” Logan’s voice was a mere whisper as he settled down criss-cross in front of Virgil.  
Virgil tried to convince his stupid mind to believe him. He was going to be fine. He had no reason to be so scared. He was safe. “Virgil, you are completely safe.” Virgil nodded silently, finally beginning to relax. “Nothing can hurt you.”  
Virgil nodded again. “Wh-Where’s…?”  
“Where is what?”  
“Who, not what. Where’s Patton?”  
Logan nodded slowly. “He’s waiting in the forefront. With Roman. Originally, Patton was… desperate to be the one to come talk to you. But I convinced him to let me come alone. We didn’t want to overwhelm you.”  
Virgil nodded. They were both silent for a few moments. “You shouldn’t be in here.”  
“I know. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”  
Virgil hesitated. Logan was right. Being alone all that time is probably what made him react like that earlier, and is probably what’s making him so on edge now. “Okay…”  
“Will you come back with me to the forefront?”  
Virgil looked straight down. “I can’t…”  
Logan’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m sorry, you said… why?”  
“I can’t…” Virgil sighed and gestured to his cat ears. “I can’t get my… secondary to… hide…”  
“And that stops you from returning to the forefront why? They both already saw those particular aspects when they appeared along with your tarantula aspects.”  
Virgil sighed. “Yeah… I guess…” But what if they’re gonna react differently now? The last time they saw them along with the tarantula part, they saw it with the scary part. What if they’ll actually react now that they aren’t too busy being scared of me? No. No. He couldn’t think like that. It didn’t matter. As long as he stayed in here, it seemed, so was Logan. So he had to leave. “Okay. I can do it. Let’s go.”


	7. Chapter Seven

So him and Logan sunk out and up into the forefront. Virgil was very overly self-conscious about his secondary right now more than ever. He'd tried, and he couldn't get rid of it. And the thing about having his secondary out is that when it was hidden, he still had some instincts from his other forms, but while they were out those instincts were multiplied a few times over. For his primary, the stronger instincts felt natural, but he wasn't used to his secondary instincts yet. He'd only had his secondary out for more than a minute or two a few times before, and he was not at all in any semblance of control over any of his secondary instincts while his secondary form was out.  
Patton and Roman hadn't noticed them yet. They were on the couch, and Patton was bent over, staring at the floor with his shoulders bunched up. He was talking to Roman, and his voice was quiet and defeated. "So, you get it now, right? He… he trusted me! And…" Patton sighed. "And I was wrong… I shouldn't have let myself react like that…"  
"You did the best you could…"  
"No, I didn't." It wasn't a strong protest. It was emotional, but weak, like he'd already had a good cry and gotten worked up and ranted. "I did the best I felt like. I didn't do the best I could have. I could have been more careful…"  
Roman opened his mouth, but Logan interrupted whatever he was going to say by clearing his throat pointedly. Patton sat up and they both looked over, and Virgil had to put in a lot of effort to force himself to follow Logan a few steps closer to them. They both immediately looked up at his cat ears and then down at his tail, and back up at the ears again. Roman kept staring at the cat ears but Patton looked down at his face, looking miserably worried. "You're okay with that?"  
Virgil stared fixedly at the floor and shrugged. "Can't shift it away. Don't know why…"  
It was quiet for a very long few minutes, and then finally Roman stopped staring at his stupid cat ears and his stupid tail that he couldn't stop flicking nervously. "You… when… how long…? Uh?!"  
Logan raised an eyebrow at him. "These aspects were present when he revealed his other aspects to us…"  
"What?! They were?! Are you sure?"  
"Quite." Virgil nodded silently in affirmation.  
"No! Am I the only one who missed this?!" He looked around frantically, and Logan and Patton both nodded.  
Virgil cleared his throat quickly, before they got any further into that topic. "Look, um… earlier, in my room… I don't know who was there, but... I can't remember... I can't remember anything about... I don't know what I did. I remember reacting, but… not sure what the reaction was… I just remember that someone was there, and that I got really suddenly…" He trailed off, only now realizing what he was telling them.  
Logan finished. "Scared?" He nodded. "The three of us were there together. We'd gone to check on you. What you did was a natural tarantula defense. You shot something called urticating hairs, which grow on your lower back it seems, at us." Virgil stared at him, eyebrows furrowed and looking some mix between horrified and confused. "Urticating hairs are specific hairs that grow on particular areas of some creatures that can be shot at predators and will imbed themselves into said predator's skin, causing itching, rashing, inflammation, and in some cases loss of sight if the hairs are able to imbed themselves into the eye."  
Virgil desperately looked the other three over for any sign of injury, shaking his head. "N-No, I… I wouldn't… predators?!" His voice was starting to rise in pitch. “Y-You guys aren’t… I mean, why would I…? I wouldn’t… I mean, no one attacked me, why would I…?!”  
Logan tapped his shoulder to get his attention and he flinched and turned towards him, lips pulled back in a momentary snarl as a second-long low growl escaped him. He snapped his mouth shut and stumbled back a step. “I apologize, but that does actually prove my point. Defensive instincts are easily triggered by shock or fear. So, it wasn’t at all that you meant to attack us. We showed up, unexpectedly, and in your room, while you were already on edge. It's only natural that you would be frightened, or at the very least shocked." Virgil nodded slowly. "Also, am I correct in saying that your animalistic instincts are more intense in your room?"  
Virgil paused a minute, blinking in surprise. "No… My room has nothing to do with it."  
Logan was shocked silent for a moment. "Oh."  
Virgil had to hold back a snicker. "My room doesn't affect it at all."  
"Oh. Then… Why…?" Virgil was about to ask why what when Logan's eyes widened in realization. "Oh! Shape-shifting to hide your natural appearances dampens the amount of influence those instincts are able to have over you. So when you show your alter forms the instincts from that particular animal get stronger. That’s it, isn’t it? That’s correct?”  
“Uh…” Virgil nodded. “Yeah. Uh, listen, guys…” He took a deep breath. “Whatever reason it was I did it… still, I’m sorry. Did it hurt?” All three of them shook their heads. “Kay, good. You got it out then. The… whatever it’s called.”  
“Urticating hairs, yes. We removed them, and they haven’t affected us at all.”  
Patton nodded. “No one got hurt. Besides, you were just scared. I was more worried about you than anything.”  
There was a momentary silence and then Roman cleared his throat and gestured vaguely to Virgil. “So, uh… how long have you… known about this? Other… animal… thing?”  
Virgil took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a few moments. Then he let it out, opened his eyes, and stared at the floor, tail flicking nervously again. “Since not long after you guys accepted me. It started right around then. Sorry, I... never told you. You guys, any of you, about… all of this. I should’ve at least told you about my primary before.”  
Patton smiled at him, though he was still staring at the floor and didn’t see. “Well, you have now. And that’s really all that matters. No one blames you for not wanting to tell us. I’d be scared too, if I thought doing something like that would make you guys scared of me.”  
Virgil shook his head. “You say that like I didn’t scare you guys.”  
The room immediately went silent. Very awkwardly silent. For a long time. Finally Virgil heard Patton’s teary voice. “I’m so sorry. I really did try, really, to keep from reacting to anything, I tried!”  
“I’m not mad. I knew it would scare you guys. That’s why I didn’t wanna show you in the first place. So I knew full-well you guys were gonna be scared. I’m not… mad at anyone about it.”  
For a moment, everyone was silent. Then Roman, of all people, spoke up. “But it’s still hurtful, isn’t it? That I screamed? That we flinched away? That I… went for my sword when I saw you?”  
Virgil didn’t answer. He kept staring at the floor, silently, eyebrows barely furrowed. “I knew before that you’d react like that.”  
“But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt… It did, didn’t it? You… maybe you truly did believe that we would react to you like that, but I’m sure that you at least hoped it would be different…”  
Virgil took a deep breath. “Okay? So what if I did?!”  
“It means I let you down. And in such a way too… It wasn’t fair of me. It wasn’t fair to you, to have your fears proven like that. So, if it means anything, I am truly sorry for reacting like that.”  
Virgil hesitated, then looked up at him with a half-hearted smirk. “Thanks. Still, you shouldn’t have to force yourself to not act scared. Any of you.”  
Patton looked at him. “Yes, we should!”  
“Why?!”  
“Because you shouldn't have to be around people who act afraid of you! And you definitely shouldn't be alone!”  
After what being alone too long had just done to him, Virgil couldn’t deny the fact that he shouldn’t be completely alone too long, but… “Why should my comfort be any more important than yours?!”  
Roman scoffed. “It’s not about that! Purposely not showing your fear to make the people around you comfortable, that’s brave. We can handle being a little brave for your sake. But there is nothing brave about denying help and letting yourself be miserable! Plus, if it makes you feel any better, we don’t have to hide it completely, twenty-four-seven. We can act a little uncomfortable at times, we just don’t have to let ourselves act scared. Okay?! Deal?!”  
Virgil blinked. “Wait, deal? What?”  
Roman sighed dramatically. “You let out your other form whenever you want, and we won’t act scared, but we’ll act a little uncomfortable sometimes and if you do something that particularly scares us, we’ll tell you, okay? Sound good to everyone?” Roman looked up and at Patton first, who grinned and nodded, then at Logan, who nodded firmly.  
“That sounds like the most reasonable setup for this, yes.”  
Then Roman looked at Virgil. “So. Deal?”  
Virgil sighed dramatically, looked at each of them in turn. “Fine. You happy? I agree. Whatever.”  
Roman grinned. “I am quite happy, yes.”  
Before anyone else could say anything else, Logan addressed Virgil. “Virgil, I do have a question in regards to your unique instincts. If the amount of influence they have has nothing to do with your room, then why is it that you seem so much more in control of them since we left your room? Unless you’ve simply gotten more comfortable…”  
Virgil’s eyes widened. “Uh… y-yeah. Yeah, th-that’s it. I just…” He trailed off at the suspicious expression plastered across Logan’s face. He wasn’t buying it for a second. “Uh… okay, okay, I… I’m… trying to keep it on the low, okay? The crazy instincts, I’m trying to keep it calm.”  
Logan didn’t respond, and he looked confused, but Roman spoke up. Apparently he understood just fine. “You’re trying to suppress your own instincts?! Hate to break it to you, Bud, but… that’s not exactly healthy!”  
Patton nodded fervently. “Yeah! That’s really not good for you! Whatever your mind is telling you to do right now, I promise we won’t judge you for it. We won’t think of you any different.”  
Virgil sighed, and the sound was exhausted and defeated. “All three of you? Honestly promise you won’t think any different?” The three of them nodded firmly, so he sighed again, and then a lot of motion occurred in the next three seconds.  
His pupils shrunk to slits, his ears flicked straight back against his head, his tail dropped, wrapping around one leg, and he turned away from them and bolted up the stairs. He had disappeared before they could blink.


End file.
